A question that has been asked since the dawn of dating apps – does he really like me if he’s still online dating? You feel like you’ve clicked and it’s turning into something and yet there he is, still swiping left and right. So, you can’t help but wonder if he really likes you or you’re wasting your precious time.
The easy way out is to simply pose the question directly to him and hope for an honest response. But we get it, it’s a difficult question to ask when you’re just getting to know someone, so we’ve prepared a little guide for you to understand how big of a deal it is.
How Long Have You Been Talking?
You know how in relationships basically everythings comes down to timing and duration. How long does it take to get over an ex? When is it okay to start dating again? Why hasn’t he proposed yet? In this case as well, our first question to you is – how long you’ve been talking. A couple of days, weeks, months?
The shorter you’ve been talking (maybe even haven’t gone out yet), the more okay it is that he’s still using his dating accounts. It doesn’t directly apply that he is not into you. It simply means that he is not done exploring the dating scene.
In addition to duration, you should also consider the quality and intensity of your interactions. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is – we’ve exchanged a couple texts on the dating app, and 10 is – we constantly chat and go out on dates, how would you rate your “talking”? And this takes us to the next point.
What’s Your “Status”
Having THE talk is one of the most intimidating parts in any relationship. It’s also quite liberating and depending on the outcome and your expectations, can be very thrilling. If you’ve had the talk and defined the status of your relationship then establishing the verdict is a child’s game.
There are essentially two main ways that you can go:
- We decided to be exclusive: exclusivity and still having a dating app can’t coexist together unless the profile is still up by mistake, which happens more often than you may think. If you’ve decided to be exclusive and he is still using his dating profile, then this guy is bad news and it’s a red flag. Have a chat with him ASAP.
- We are not committing to each other yet: the profile can stay up and you should feel free to use yours too.
We do, however, live in the 21st century and there are so many variations of these two – exceptions, additions, preconditions, etc. So, factor in those as well and you should be able to evaluate the situation somewhat objectively.
And if you’re not sure of what your relationship status is, go back to the scale we talked about. The level of communication usually sets the tone for the relationship status. And if you’re closer to the 10 then we highly encourage you to have that conversation.
Side tip: pay close attention to how he introduces you to others. Does he say girlfriend, friend or just your name? Calling you a friend is for sure close to not being exclusive, girlfriend is borderline exclusive and using your name is kind of a gray area.
How Do I Know If He Likes Me or Not?
Using a dating app while talking to you makes you think he doesn’t like you. So to address those concerns, let’s nip this in the budd and take a look at some things that usually indicate that he does like you.
He may have said “I really like you,” a thousand times but that won’t stop you from having the occasional doubts. Maybe this list will help bring some clarity.
- He remembers details you’ve shared with him about you: if he can recall the name of your childhood pet or your favorite ice cream flavor that you mentioned just once in a random text then this guy is into you.
- He initiates and organizes dates: when he takes the lead and organizes meaningful dates then impressing you and having a good time together is important to him, which ultimately implies that he likes you.
- He wants to help: he may offer to pick you up from the airport, help you move or he can do something deeper and more emotional like during a loss of a loved one.
- He shares his future plans with you: when it’s just a fling and has no potential of turning into something long-term, then most guys won’t bother sharing their future plans with you. Does he talk about his career goals and where he’d like to be in a year or two?
- He has introduced you to his friends: meeting the friends is a milestone in any relationship and if you’ve already done that then he certainly likes you.
- He is caring when you’re sick or in a bad mood: this is one of the most definite signs that he likes you. Does he check in with you frequently? Bring you soup? Offer to take care of you or do something to get you into a better mood?
- He is not shy with compliments: we’re looking for more specific compliments other than “you look very nice today.” Although that’s a good sign too, the more “detailed” the compliments, the higher the chances that he is falling for you.
- Body language: eye contact, leaning towards you, copying your body language or all signs of a guy liking you, so do pay some attention to it.
- He sends you his favorite songs: this usually happens a day or two after you begin to chat. If he starts sharing with you his favorite bands then it would seem that he likes you and wants to impress you with his musical taste.
- He shows his weaknesses and asks for advice: vulnerability is not where most men shine, so if he shows his weakness to you and asks for your advice then you’re way past the “we’re just talking” stage.
- He says he misses you: the “I miss you” is basically the foreplay of “I love you.”
When you discover that he is still online dating, don’t jump to the worst conclusions immediately. It may mean many things before him not liking you. Take your time to assess your relationship, how you feel about him and if needed, have a conversation about it.