We are going to let you in on a little secret: no matter how confident someone may seem, how experienced a dater they may be, or how suave they act, everyone and we mean everyone gets nervous before a first kiss!
A first kiss could be your first time ever locking lips with someone or embracing for the first time after dating someone new for a while. Both are exhilarating events and are often memorable events in one’s life and in the trajectory of building a new relationship.
But, what comes after the smooch? There are charming ways to handle the awkward post kiss moment, such as gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, caressing or holding hands, smiling or offering a pleasant compliment. Oppositely, there are also things to avoid and how not to react to a first kiss.
10 Things Not to Do or Say After Your First Kiss
- “That sucked!” Saying things like “Ew, gross!” or “I don’t think you are a very good kisser,” or “that sucked,” are definitely no-nos after a first kiss. It may seem a little obvious, but saying things like this will only lead to your partner or date feeling extremely insecure, uncomfortable and possibly really hurt their feelings. If that is really how you felt, there are much better ways to communicate with them. Plus, it’s the first kiss so it’s bound to be a little imperfect and awkward.
- “What did you think?” Talk about an instant mood killer! Asking for validation immediately after the first kiss is not very romantic – like at all. It isn’t very kind to put your date on the spot with a question like that and they will likely be very taken aback by the question.
- “Can I get you a mint?” Ouch. This one is painful! It is not very subtle to ask your date to have a mint or gum after a kiss, because it tells them that you can smell their bad breath. We can guarantee that it will leave them feeling uncomfortable. If their breath really is that bad, bring it up later by subtly offering them gum.
- Walk Away. Don’t run or walk away from your date! You might be overwhelmed after your amazing first kiss but walking away will send them all the wrong signals.
- “I can’t wait to tell my mother/father about this,” Yikes! While it might be sweet that you have a solid relationship with your family, it’s probably going to throw off your date and leave them questioning what the relationship with your family is like.
- “I thought because you have so many exes you would be a much better kisser,” Okay, saying things like this is better to avoid completely, as it’s just plain rude and extremely judgemental. Keep your opinions to yourself in this case.
- Crack a joke. You might be trying to come across as suave and unbothered but keep the jokes for a later time!
- Immediately get your phone and tell your friends about your first kiss. Sure, it’s an exciting time but have you ever heard of “don’t kiss and tell!?” You should respect the relationship by sharing the exciting news with a few close friends, so long as your date is on the same page, and certainly not when your date is still there!
- “You’re my soul mate!!!” Love bombing is when someone who is newly dating gives the other person tons of compliments and affection to influence them. It’s more than saying regular compliments such as “you look beautiful tonight,” and instead it’s more intense like “I want to marry you,” or “you’re my soulmate,” or “I can see us together forever!!” after only a few dates. It’s generally considered to be a bit over the top and overwhelming for many people as it takes time to build up the foundation of a healthy relationship.
- “I have a girlfriend/boyfriend/ I am married” Woah. You should probably just get yourself home to your partner. What are you doing wasting other people’s time!? Not cool.
What to Do When the First Kiss Wasn’t All You Thought it Would Be
The moment of a first kiss is scary, exhilarating, and exciting. If it’s your first-ever kiss, it can feel upsetting if it doesn’t go how you always dreamt it might. If it’s your first kiss with someone you’re newly dating and it doesn’t go great, it might make you wonder if it’s a sign the relationship won’t go well.
However, the reality couldn’t be more different! Even if the first kiss is a little awkward or – dare we even say it – bad! – it is not always indicative of how the relationship will play out. Most of the time, those first kisses are mixed with tons of nerves, butterflies and overthinking which can take away from the moment and result in a weird kiss. We bet you were nervous too, which could have impacted how you were kissing, too!
How to React to a First Kiss
We’ve gone through what not to do. In regards to what to do, try to embrace the moment by being fully present at the moment. If you are feeling nervous don’t forget to continue breathing!
You can react by saying something charming such as, “that was very sweet,” or “I really like spending time with you.” It’s always a good idea to cherish the moment with a long hug, holding hands or a gentle smile.
Real-life is Better Than Any Fairytale
Remember, you’re not alone! First kisses are hardly ever perfect for anybody. When you have a less than the person first smooth, you are experiencing real life, not a fairy tale or a rom-com film. Nobody special should ever be ruled out because of one unfortunate first kiss. Try to remove the pressure and assess things objectively. Plus, it could also make for a pretty great story to look back on and laugh about in the future of your relationship!