For many singles who are deeply rooted in their faith, dating can seem hard. You know what you want and you know where those types of people hang out, but it just doesn’t seem to be clicking for you. And that can get a little frustrating when you see everyone else at church happily in relationships and you feel like you’re spinning your wheels.
What are they doing differently than you? What do you need to start meeting people to date at church? Is there a secret formula to meeting faith-focused singles?
In this article, we want to answer all of these questions. Whether you’re Christian, Catholic, Jewish, or any other religion, these tips should help you to meet someone special at church, temple, or the synagogue.
Depending on your unique denomination, some of these suggestions may be more applicable than others. The bottom line remains the same though—the more of these you implement, the better your chances are of finding someone at church to date.
1. Get Involved
The number one catch-all best way to meet someone to date at church is to get involved. You’ll see a recurring theme throughout the rest of these tips that involves you getting out there, meeting more people, and doing more things.
Often, meeting someone special happens through what may seem like a random occurrence. However, the more you put yourself in situations for those “random interactions” to occur, the higher the chance there is that it will happen. Do it enough and the randomness quickly fades and it becomes more probable and calculated.
2. Make It Known You’re Single and Looking
Disclaimer—we’re not telling you to run around telling everyone and their mother at church that you’re single and looking. If you do this enough, you’ll get pegged as the strange guy or gal and you’re not going to be able to meet anyone with that stigma floating over your head.
That being said, you do want to casually let people know that you’re single and looking to meet someone who is rooted in the faith.
Here’s some really exciting news. So many people within the church love to play matchmaker, especially when it’s two faith-focused singles. But they can’t introduce you to anyone unless they know you’re single! Casually let people know or even ask people you’re starting to get close to if they happen to know any single men or women that might be a good match for you.
3. Start With the Singles Ministry
You may not be aware of it, but there’s a pretty good chance your church has some sort of resources out there for singles looking to meet, connect, and date. Building healthy relationships amongst believers is a critical part of the growth and furtherment of the church, so it makes sense that they’d pour resources into the process.
Find what they have available and check it out! Additionally, stick with it. Even if you go to an event once and don’t see someone you like, you never know who is going to show up next week—or who might see you, mention to a friend not there that you seem perfect for them, and invite them the following event.
4. Take Advantage of Online Dating
Just because you don’t meet someone within the walls of the church doesn’t mean they’re not going to share the same religious views as you do. Realistically, your goal is not to “meet someone at church” but it’s probably to meet someone who shares the same faith values and lifestyle choices as you do.
For that reason, Christian dating websites and other religious dating apps are incredible places to look for singles. You’ll know you’re in a community of believers with the same views and you’ll get access to singles not just within the walls of your church, but in churches all across the area you live in.
If you’re interested, check out some of these great Christian dating apps now.
5. Join a Small Group
While you shouldn’t be joining a church small group with the sole intention of meeting singles, it’s a nice way to potentially get introduced to someone you may be interested in. Even if there is no one in your small group that you’re into, everyone in there has friends and knows people in the church. Once the group gets to know you and knows you’re looking for someone, you just might find a great group of awesome matchmakers.
6. Be Patient
Having patience in this process is critical. Meeting someone to date from church who shares the same views as you might take a little while. Why? Well, you’re looking for something special, and you’ve got a few religious deal breakers (which is 100% okay). If you were just looking to date anyone from anywhere, it might be faster. But because you know what you want, it could take a little bit longer.
Here’s the bright side. It might take you a little bit longer to find someone, but because you’re looking with specific criteria—the chances of the relationship being successful are significantly higher.
7. Pray
In Christianity, you believe that there’s power in the one to whom you pray. What does that have to do with dating? Well, 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.” Finding someone to potentially spend the rest of your life with is certainly something that registers on the “cares” and important list! There’s no reason to go this journey alone. Spend time in prayer to guide your journey and decision-making.
8. Don’t Mess Things Up for the Future
A church is a tight-knit community where most everyone knows everyone. Even if you go to a large mega-church, the degrees of separation will be few.
Why is this important? If things don’t work out with the first person you meet at church, you don’t want to do something that makes you “undesirable” to other people in the congregation. If you do something inappropriate, react negatively to something you shouldn’t, or just act odd—it may get around.
You should be on your best behavior anyway, but this is just a friendly reminder of another reason why it’s important.
The Bottom Line
Meeting someone at church is a great way to ensure a good chance that you both align in your goals and the way you view relationships. Hopefully, these tips can give you the ideas you need to get out there and meet that special someone.
Remember, be patient and let things happen organically. But the more you get yourself out there, the more opportunities you have for chance encounters to happen.