When we watch movies, it seems like every guy knows exactly how to treat a girl on the first date. However, in reality, many of us are quite clueless, especially if you’re brand new to dating. But the good news is that there are plenty of us who have come before you and mastered exactly how to treat a girl right on the first date.
In this guide, we’re going to share exactly that. We’ll walk you through how to walk, talk, and act on a first date with a girl to give you the best chance at a successful date.
1. Treat Her With Respect
Above all else, the single most important thing to remember when going on a date with a girl is to treat her with the dignity and respect that she deserves. You’ll see through a lot of the tips included in this list that this is an overarching theme—and for good reason.
If a girl does not feel respected, you can kiss any chances of the date going well goodbye. And yes, we will get into specifics in the next few tips.
2. Consider Chivalry
In the past, we would advise people going on dates with girls to always be chivalrous no matter what. Today, though, there are some women that might be put off by it as they think they shouldn’t be treated any differently than a man. For the most part, though, that number is probably quite small.
And for that reason, we still advise starting out the date chivalrous, and if it’s well-received, great! If it’s not well received, you can tone it down. It’s wildly better to err on the side of being more chivalrous than it is to be on the other side of the aisle.
Here are a few things that we recommend doing on a first date with a girl that falls into the chivalrous category:
- Open doors for her. – This includes all doors like car doors, restaurant doors, etc. You’ll have to work on getting smooth about being on the correct side of her or slightly out in front to be able to do this less awkwardly. However, even awkward chivalry is better than none at all.
- Pull out her chair for her. – If you’re eating or grabbing drinks somewhere, when she goes to sit, pull out her chair for her and slightly push it in when she goes to sit. Now, this is really only the first time that she sits. From then on out, you can probably let her get her own chair.
- Stand to greet her. – Most likely you’ll already be standing when you greet her for your date. If you’re not, though, (like if you had to go save a table somewhere), stand up to greet her when she shows up.
- Get out of the car. – If you are picking her up for the first date, you need to park and get out of the car to greet her. Only under incredibly rare circumstances is it okay to forego this, but those are usually because of no parking or logistical concerns. Even then, sometimes getting out for a quick hi and a hug is going to go a long way.
3. Don’t Treat Her Like a Queen
Please, please, please do not interpret this as us telling you that you’re not supposed to make her feel special and treat her with all due respect. What we are saying, though, is you don’t want to “put her up on a pedestal” like she is somehow better than you. You want to treat her as if you are “in the same league” or equals.
Too often, guys like to worship the ground a woman walks on during a date, especially if she is someone who is of a higher caliber than they are used to normally dating.
Do. Not. Do. This. Even if it seems like she likes it, it starts to paint that picture to her that she is better than you. And even though she probably likes the attention, she doesn’t want to feel like she’s dating down.
4. Give Her Your Undivided Attention
While you’re not putting her up on a pedestal, you should be giving her your undivided attention so she feels like she’s the only one you’re focused on. This will make her feel special in a way that doesn’t make her feel like she’s better than you. It shows you’re respectful, a good listener, and someone that values your time with her.
Here are some things you can do to accomplish this:
- Don’t flirt with other women.
- Don’t be on your phone at all while you’re on the date (even if she is).
- Keep your phone in your pocket. Some people think just having it on the table or upside down is not rude, but that’s far from the truth.
- Put your phone on silent. Even if it’s not on the table or in sight, if it keeps ringing—that’s rude and makes her feel blah.
- Don’t carry on conversations with other people outside of being cordially nice to other people. (No, this does not mean you have to ignore the waiter or barista or bartender or anything like that).
5. Watch What You Say
When you’re on a date with a girl (especially a first date), you have got to pay attention to how you talk to her. Just because you might swear or think that dirty jokes are funny doesn’t mean that she does too. And if you go down that road and she’s not a fan, you are going to end any chances of anything further with her.
What’s even crazier to think about, is that even if she does like swearing and dirty jokes, she might still look down on you for being that way on a first date. Some girls like to see that you’re willing to be a little more gentlemanly, even if it’s not something they prefer long term.
Putting It All Together
If you follow these simple guidelines on how to treat a girl on a date, you should be fine. Does doing these things automatically mean you’ll have an amazing date? Absolutely not! But it does give you the best chance for an amazing date if the two of you are compatible. And if you’re not compatible, it certainly allows you to leave with your head up high!