There’s a good reason why online dating apps have become so popular: they’re easy to use and allow you to quickly meet a ton of people. What’s more, you can be certain that everyone on the app is looking for the same thing as you: a match!
Is it really that easy, though?
Despite what you hear, or even what you may have experienced in the past, it totally can be! All you need to do is avoid the following common mistakes, and you’ll be good to go.
1. Using Just One App
There are several different online dating apps, some more popular and well known than others. Your best bet is to do your research before you commit to using any, and then use all the apps that are a best fit to what you’re looking for.
Many online dating apps are catering to specific niche populations, which increases the chances of people in those populations finding a perfect match. So, make sure that you look up all the available online dating apps and make a short list for the best ones that look to serve people like you.
Once you have found that list, join all of them! Make a profile in each one and increase the probability of attracting the attention of the people you want. Limiting yourself to just one app is a recipe for frustration and long waits.
2. Having a “Type” and Tunnel Vision
We all have an ideal type for a partner, but that’s what it is- ideal. Often, it’s just a fantasy we’ve been indulging in, and not necessarily everything that would satisfy us in reality.
You will be surprised how many stories of loving couples started off with each partner declaring they’d never date someone like their SO! It won’t hurt to give people a chance even if they don’t completely fit your ideal type.
Focus on people’s personality, try interacting with them a little, and make an informed decision on whether to meet them.
3. Mass Swiping Right
We get it. We really do! Maximizing your chances of finding that perfect match is tremendously important. It may seem that quickly swiping right as many profiles as possible will do that.
But it won’t.
Take your time and only swipe right on profiles that really appeal to you. People on dating apps have spent thought and time in creating their profiles. We assume you did, too!
So read them and benefit from finding those people who most appeal to you and have common ground with you.
That’s your best bet in finding the One.
4. Writing Defensively on Your Profile
Just like other people’s profiles are important for you to make your choice, so is yours for other people. So, make sure you make it inviting, positive, and optimistic! That’s what draws people in.
What is a surefire way to drive people away from your profile and potential matches is coming across as bitter, conceited, uppity, or defensively aggressive:
Don’t try to claim that being on an online dating app is beneath you in any way. For example, don’t try to be ‘playful’ by saying things like “we’ll say we met at a pub ;)” or things like that which imply you think using the dating app is uncool.
Don’t create an endless list of preferences in a partner as if you’re running a beauty pageant (for men OR women!). It will make you look judgmental, rude, and inappropriate.
Don’t underline that you’re a good match and anyone who doesn’t think so is wrong! Taste is very particular. Just openly say who you are and trust others who like your traits to come to you.
5. Giving Yourself Many Adjectives
You may have heard the golden rule of writing is to “show, not tell”. That applies to writing up your profile, too!
Showing vs. telling is pretty simple when it comes to your profile: instead of just giving yourself a bunch of adjectives and descriptors, such as “active” or “literature nut” or “travel lover”, just mention how you walk 5 km every day, which titles you last read, and post photos from your latest travels abroad.
Showing, rather than telling, makes you come across as a real person rather than a character with a list of listed traits. And a real person gets more matches!
6. Trusting Too Easily
Would you leave your car door unlocked? Probably not! (please don’t)
Online dating is part of the real world, which means that you will be meeting all kinds of people. Just like in the real world, you shouldn’t trust people without some indication that it’s ok to do so.
Don’t post information on your profile that might compromise your safety or the safety of your accounts. That goes for all accounts, from social media ones to bank accounts!
When you find the match you’re eager to meet, remember not to do it before you talk to them on the phone or, even better, have a video chat with them. Make sure you have some idea of who is behind the profile that has won you over.
7. Posting Haphazard Photos
Don’t shy away from posting photos of yourself as you are. It’s the best way to get matches that will like you in the flesh as much as they do online.
That said, don’t just post photos without taking care to select the ones where you look your best. And what we mean by “looking your best” is a good angle, great lighting, and as few filters as possible!
The point in posting your photos is to give possible matches an accurate impression of how you look. Therefore, if you use photos where you are basically unrecognizable, you’re setting yourself up for a frustrating time meeting other people.
On the other hand, you also shouldn’t post photos where you don’t look as good as you normally do. Make sure you’re groomed, that you’re happy in the photo, and that you show off the best in you. The best which your match will see when you meet them!
Using online dating apps is an exciting experience! Now that you know what to do so that others get to know the real you, you’re ready to spread your wings, trust in yourself, and have fun!