What Is Online Dating Really Like for Women?

Have you ever wondered what online dating must be like for women? 

You’re not alone! 

So, what is it really like to be a woman and use an online dating app? Well, there are challenges, but also great assets to it. Let’s start off with the challenges:

Girl leaning on a rail thinking

It Can Feel Unsafe

According to the relevant  Pew Research on the issue, ladies often feel unsafe using online dating apps. In fact, more than half of them may be reluctant to meet up with people they’ve chatted with through an app.

Why though?

Because people tend to talk themselves up a little too much! It’s okay to promote yourself- that’s what you’re on the dating app for. But that shouldn’t cross over to fibbing. 

It teaches ladies to feel that they can’t be sure of who it is they’re talking to behind their matched profile. Imagine the stress of wondering if the awesome guy you’ve matched with is really who he says he is! 

This insecurity that prevents women from enjoying the services of an online dating app to the fullest. 

It Can Invite Harassment

Receiving a photo of someone’s assets without asking is not as funny as memes would have you think. 

Ladies find it unsavory and distressing. Unfortunately, it happens a lot. 57% of women on online dating apps have received unsolicited, explicit photos by men. Some women receive so many unwanted photos of private parts that even opening the app might cause them stress. 

Remember, guys: if you’ve ever complained when the takeout you get isn’t what you ordered, don’t expect ladies to love it if instead of your face they get a photo of a different part of your body!

And remember: no is no. Don’t be rude if a lady isn’t interested, or worse, violent:

Roughly 60% of women have reported receiving repeated, pressing messages from people they have indicated they don’t want communication from.A lot of women also report that harassment often escalates to threats of violence. 

What adds to this feeling of being targeted is a general slow rate of response by the dating apps in restricting or banning harassing or violent accounts. 

It Can Undermine Their Confidence

You may think that women get a confidence boost just by creating their profile on an online dating app. But that’s not always the case. Ladies have their confidence shattered just as much as guys. 

One of the most notorious manners in which this happens is “negging”: making a statement that is designed for the person to immediately feel lacking, or in need to prove themselves worthy of one’s attention. 

A man using negging could make a profile statement like “if you can’t talk about staples of international literature, don’t bother contacting me.” 

Such a statement makes the woman who reads it feel inferior or eager to prove that she makes the cut. That she’s “not like other girls” if you like.

Either way, it’s an undermining technique that directly targets women’s self-esteem and makes dating feel more like sitting an exam than exploring whether you’re enjoying yourself with the person you’re meeting. 

It Can Be Frustrating

There is a general sense that women have to conform to mainstream ideas of beauty and desirability in order to stand out and attract attention on online dating apps. 

A woman who feels she isn’t a perfect fit to society’s gender norms or beauty standards can feel frustrated and stressed out when creating her profile. It might also lower expectations about the type of matches they will get. 

Interactions can also cause frustration for women, as they tend to seek companionship before any sexual context becomes relevant, but instead of a friendly chat they receive a photo of the goods and then threats when they’re not thrilled. 

So, with all these pitfalls, what is it in for the ladies when using online dating apps?

It Can Be Satisfying

Online dating experiences aren’t all bad for ladies! They find them easy, convenient, and comfortable. 

Through a dating app, women find it easier to meet people with shared interests and values, which can be a lot harder in a pub. Through dating apps, they can and do form long lasting relationships and have found friendship as well as romance. 

It Can Be Fun

Navigating the pitfalls of nasty users isn’t unique to dating apps only. It’s the general condition of the internet! Women recognize that and develop strategies to avoid the nasty users and filter out the unpleasantness. 

Once that is done, interaction over the dating apps is fun for ladies as they meet new, interesting people and open up new possibilities for their future. 

It Can Be Efficient and Convenient

People that are on an online dating app are there to meet others. That makes using the apps efficient, convenient, and even relaxing. 

There is no pretense in interactions: people are there to explore if they like each other enough to meet even once, and women can and do enjoy this directness. 

It is also socially acceptable to meet people on online dating apps, which makes the experience more pleasant for everyone involved. 

It Can Be Empowering and Liberating

Despite the potential drawbacks encountered in online dating apps, they do provide a space where women can find agency and confidence as they assert their identity, personality, and sexual preference freely. 

Being able to freely and independently make your choice on who to interact with can be tremendously important for a person’s self-esteem and confidence. Online dating apps can provide a safer space for women to experiment and explore themselves as well as others!

So, What’s the Verdict?

We’ve just had a tour through the bad and the good that women experience in online dating apps. What should you take away from it all? What is it truly like to be a woman using an online dating app? 

It’s a mixed bag, but you can make it wonderful. 

Just like everything in life, online dating comes with some of the unsavory behaviors of human interaction together with all the benefits you can reap from using the apps. 

If you are a woman considering using an online dating app, do it! The benefits are many and the challenges or hassles specific and relatively easy to handle.