While the dating cliché “There are plenty of fish in the sea” sounds promising, anyone who has ever been fishing knows that it’s not as easy as that may make it sound. But over two decades ago, technology started its attempt to solve the matchmaking challenges of millions of singles all over the world in the form of—online dating. And while millions have found love through online dating, you don’t have to talk to too many singles to know that many have also found frustration.
This begs the all important question—how are the successes of some and failures of others affecting the mental health of users? Well, our data team wanted to look to see if we could shine a little light on that in our most recent study. We wanted to see what percentage of singles in the United States who had used an online dating application within the last 12 months had experienced emotional fatigue or burnout.
Additionally, we wanted to know the frequency in which those that had experienced these negative consequences were feeling this way. And finally, we wanted to parse the data based on age and gender to see if there were any meaningful trends or lessons we could pull from the data.
Our team asked 500 people, “When actively online dating, have you ever experienced feelings of emotional fatigue or burnout?” with the possible answer choices being ‘Yes, often’, ‘Yes, occasionally’, or ‘No, never’.
Key Findings
Nearly 4 in 5 people aged 18-54 experience some degree of emotional fatigue or burnout when online dating (78.37%).
- Males 18-54 were more likely than females in the same age bracket to experience emotional fatigue or burnout often — (29.13% versus 26.00%, respectively)
- However, females 18-54 were more likely than males in the same age bracket to experience at least some (occasionally and often) emotional fatigue or burnout — (81.20% versus 75.59%, respectively)
- People often experiencing emotional fatigue or burnout increased with age through every bracket, except for a large drop off into the 45-54 bracket.
- Males and females aged 25-34 were the most likely age bracket to experience at least some (occasionally and often) emotional fatigue or burnout — (81.89%)
- Females aged 45-54 were the least likely to experience emotional fatigue or burnout often — However, they were also the most likely to experience these feelings occasionally, which when combined was the highest prevalence of experiencing some degree of these feelings (tied with females 25-34).
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Table of Contents
- Overall Results – What Percentage of People Experience Emotional Fatigue or Burnout with Online Dating?
- Breakdown of Results by Gender
- Breakdown of Results by Age
- Breakdown of Results by Gender and Age
- What We Can Learn
- Study Methodology
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Overall Results – What Percentage of People Experience Emotional Fatigue or Burnout when Online Dating?
While our team wished the results would show low numbers when it came to the percentage of people who have experienced some degree of emotional fatigue or burnout when online dating, that was sadly not the case. When you look across all demographics, nearly four out of every five respondents we asked had experienced at least some degree of these feelings (78.37%). Thankfully, the highest percentages were found in the ‘occasionally’ category (50.79%) and not in the ‘often’ category (27.58%), which does make things a bit less dreadful.
We’d invite you to keep reading on through the study, though, as digging into the different numbers by age and gender revealed quite a few interesting bits of information.
| Respondents | Yes, often | Yes, occasionally | No, never |
|---|---|---|---|
| All Demographics | 27.58% | 50.79% | 21.63% |
Breakdown of Results by Gender
Males were the most likely to experience emotional burnout or fatigue often. However, females were most likely to experience at least some degree of these feelings (when ‘often’ and ‘occasional’ are included together).
- Males tended to be more polarized than females with higher percentages in the ‘Yes, often’ category (29.13%) and the ‘No, never’ category (24.41%).
- Females were the most likely to experience emotional burnout or fatigue when online dating occasionally (55.20% versus 46.46%).
While the difference in percentages weren’t on complete opposite sides of the scale here, the numbers are still meaningful and do show that males as a whole indicated they experience these symptoms more often. That being said, across all degrees of frequency, more women experienced feelings in some capacity. Overall, though, both males and females are over the 75% mark when it comes to experiencing these feelings, which means at least three out of every four people.
| Respondents | Yes, often | Yes, occasionally | No, never |
|---|---|---|---|
| Male | 29.13% | 46.46% | 24.41% |
| Female | 26.00% | 55.20% | 18.80% |
What We Think
It can be challenging to theorize the reason for the gender data with relationships as there are a lot more components and factors in play. As you’ll see when we break things down by age and gender at the same time, these numbers here don’t tell the whole story. As a spoiler, we see men keep a consistently high percentage of ‘Yes, often’ across all age brackets (except 45-54), whereas we see some big changes for females, especially in the 18-24 and 45-54 age brackets.
Breakdown of Results by Age
The prevalence of emotional burnout or fatigue when online dating increases with age through all brackets, with the exception of a steep drop off for the 45-54 study group.
- People aged 35-44 were the most likely to often experience these feelings (32.54%), followed closely by the 25-34 year old bracket (31.50%).
- We see a steady incline of ‘Yes, often’ responses through the first three age brackets: 18-24 (27.78%), 25-34 (31.50%), and 35-44 (32.54%).
- The 45-54 age bracket indicated they experience emotional fatigue or burnout often far less than any of the other brackets at only 18.40%. This age bracket also had the highest percentage that indicated they never experience these feelings.
As we looked at the age data, we started to see a lot more trends developing. The most interesting was watching the steady incline in ‘Yes, often’ responses through three of the four age brackets from youngest to oldest. Equally as interesting was then watching the steep drop off in this response into the 45-54 year old bracket. Regarding the other responses, there weren’t any noticeable linear trends, but the data by bracket is still notable.
| Respondents | Yes, often | Yes, occasionally | No, never |
|---|---|---|---|
| 18-24 | 27.78% | 49.21% | 23.02% |
| 25-34 | 31.50% | 50.39% | 18.11% |
| 35-44 | 32.54% | 46.03% | 21.43% |
| 45-54 | 18.40% | 57.60% | 24.00% |
What We Think
When we look at the age bracket data, we usually look for linear trends first but don’t always find them. Here, we had one with people who were often feeling emotional fatigue or burnout increasing as they got older. Our theory is this may have something to do with pressure from family or friends to find something serious getting stronger as you get older. Additionally, it’s widely accepted that the number of people looking for serious relationships does increase with age to a certain point and then drops off, much like we see with the data here.
Hats off to the people 45-54 who had a remarkably lower percentage of experiencing these negative feelings often. Again, this may have something to do with people being outside of the age brackets where you have the most pressure from friends and family to “settle down.” Whether that’s true or not would require a deeper study into the respondents.
Breakdown of Results by Gender and Age
With the exception of the 45-54 year old bracket, males hold a fairly consistent percentage of ‘Yes, often’ responses, all between (32.31 and 33.33%). Females in these brackets have a steadily increasing percentage of ‘Yes, often’ responses, starting at 22.22% and peaking at 31.75%.
- Males 45-54 were the least likely to answer ‘Yes, often’ (17.46%), as well as the lowest overall to have any frequency of these effects (only 68.25%)
- Females 45-54 were the most likely to occasionally experience these feelings (64.52%), significantly higher than any other group.
| Age | Gender | Yes | Occasionally | No |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 18-24 | Male | 33.33% | 46.03% | 20.63% |
| 18-24 | Female | 22.22% | 52.38% | 25.40% |
| 25-34 | Male | 32.31% | 47.69% | 20.00% |
| 25-34 | Female | 30.65% | 53.23% | 16.13% |
| 35-44 | Male | 33.33% | 41.27% | 25.40% |
| 35-44 | Female | 31.75% | 50.79% | 17.46% |
| 45-54 | Male | 17.46% | 50.79% | 31.75% |
| 45-54 | Female | 19.35% | 64.52% | 16.13% |
What We Can Learn
While we’re lovers of data, we also like to try and see if we can glean life lessons from the information. Below, you’ll find our thoughts. These are merely our suggestions of ways to utilize the data if you’re a single who is using online dating (or think about using online dating) to find someone special.
- Realize you’re in it together. While we never wish for anyone to have a hard time with anything, it is sometimes nice to know that other people are having some of the same struggles you are. In other words, don’t ever feel like you’re alone in the online dating world if you’re feeling discouraged.
- It’s okay to take breaks. While this isn’t really a lesson from the data, it’s one that is applicable. If you are starting to feel overwhelmed, take a break. If it’s getting to be more than you can handle, it’s okay to go speak with a professional.
- The opposite sex is struggling too. Often, people tend to believe that they’re the only ones that have it hard. However, when we realize the other side may be having the same troubles, it can help us to find common ground.
- Be careful about outside pressure as you get older. The data shows that things get tougher (especially for females) as you get older until about the age of 45. If you’re young or in this age bracket, prepare for this. Put boundaries and even time limits in place so that you don’t become obsessed or let online dating take a toll on you.
- Remember the light at the end of the tunnel. As challenging as online dating can be, millions have still found love through the platforms. If you keep that in mind, it can help you to stay positive when things aren’t as easy as you would like. And remember, you’re searching for someone to spend significant time with, not a new shirt or something simple like that. If it takes a little longer than expected, that’s probably okay in this case.
Study Methodology
Our research team surveyed 500 respondents who stated they had used at least one online dating application in the past year. Respondents were asked, “When actively online dating, have you ever experienced feelings of emotional fatigue or burnout?” The single-option answer choices were “Yes, often”, “Yes, occasionally”, or “No, never”.
Additional Overview Details
- 500 participants
- Aged 18-54, equally divided across four age brackets
- Respondents must live in the United States
- Respondents must have used at least (1) online dating app in the last (12) months
- Equal number of males and females in each age bracket
- All questions single-answer multiple-choice